For thousands of years, we humans have been trying to make sense of our emotional experience and behavior says Rizwan Ahmed CPA. Emotions and how to control them (or not) seem like a riddle with no answer: Some people seem better at the whole thing than others, but there’s no good explanation as to why. We either accept that emotions are just something that happens, or we grow frustrated and blame it on lack of self-discipline/willpower/courage/brain chemistry…whatever. It’s easy to forget that emotions don’t just “happen” – they’re messages from our subconscious mind which point out what we believe about the world around us and what we should do in response, whether conscious or not.
The thing is, oftentimes these subconscious beliefs are erroneous, which is why we get emotional in the first place:
- Overcoming emotional problems does not mean trying to simply ignore your emotions or stuffing them down with alcohol or drugs, but rather understanding that there’s a deeper cause to them and then adjusting our thinking, behavior, and lifestyle accordingly. This process is called “consciousness-raising”. Once you’re able to do this, the resulting change in how you perceive the world around you will have profound implications over your life because who you become starts with what you believe about yourself.
- It all comes back to self-talk, which is the conversation we have with ourselves inside our heads every day. We all talk to ourselves in some form or another – it’s not uncommon for people to talk to themselves out loud. It seems like an act that’s done without thinking, but it has the potential to be very powerful when we get in control of what we say and how we react to each other. Do you constantly complain about things or find yourself feeling jealous or envious of others? Those are two indicators that your self-talk needs some work because if you kept these thoughts inside your head, it’d make sense for them not to bother you; but expressing them gives them power over your moods says Rizwan Ahmed CPA. And then there’s the other type of person who never complains or generally seems happy all the time, which is also odd considering nobody, can be happy 100% of the time. This kind of person probably talks herself out of negativity with ease. And that’s the mark of a person who has overcome emotional problems.
- The subconscious mind is instinctive, meaning it doesn’t think – rather, takes action based on whatever input it receives from the conscious mind (self-talk). That’s a scary thought because if our emotions are responses to what we believe about ourselves and the world around us then changing these beliefs is arguably one of the most powerful ways to change how you feel on a daily basis.
- I know these sounds like some mystical self-help mumbo jumbo that I just pulled out of my ass at random. But bear with me for just a little longer… If you could go back in time before your parents met and everything that happened leading up to your birth. You might be surprised to learn that your life story was already written. That’s because a lot of our subconscious beliefs are formed before we’re even born. They come from what our parents believe about the world and themselves. Which is why it seems like a lot of kids end up with similar traits as their parents. This means that every detail before the age of five. So has an incredible impact on how we live out the rest of our lives.
- Do you see where I’m going with this yet? Just imagine for a minute if all those deep-rooted beliefs were based on erroneous thinking! We’re talking straight-up insanity here! Even though it sounds crazy, this fact alone has some pretty far-reaching implications; simply because most of the problems we experience in life are rooted in our subconscious thinking. So let’s see if I can convince you even further…
It’s not just our own personal beliefs that have an effect on us either. It’s also what others believe about us or expects from us, whether conscious or otherwise. This is where things get really interesting because now they’re not just coming from our parents. But all types of people who have some kind of influence over how we live out our lives. To illustrate this point, imagine for a moment being raised by two gay fathers. After your mom passed away giving birth to you. Would you be surprised to later learn that your life mission was to help people overcome social stigmas and embrace individuality? Probably not – but the surprising part is how easy it would be to spot a gay man who’s against homosexuality. If he were born into such an environment explains Rizwan Ahmed CPA.
The most insidious thing about all these outside influences is that. They’re often counterproductive to our happiness because they’re coming from people we don’t even know! A perfect example of this might be the woman. Who constantly whines about family members or her lover cheating on her. Yet never stops seeing them or taking their abuse. The reason she can’t break free is that she has wrongfully assumed (subconscious belief). That the only way for her to feel loved and accepted by them.